We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
