We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
