i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
