Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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