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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
