I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
