They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
