If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
