yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
