need another drink. this is the easiest way
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
