I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
