Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
