is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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