Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
