Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
