Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
