now i know why i became what i already was.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
