:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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