Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
