Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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