if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So much rum. So many feels.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
