The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
