You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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