"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
