i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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