The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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