If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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