Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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