i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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