dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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