I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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