Rock
Scissors
Fuck
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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