nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
