And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
