Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
