i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
