question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
