..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
