i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
