Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
