I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
