I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
