I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
