So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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