How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
