wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
