Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
