hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
