Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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