even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When did angry sex become our thing?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
