i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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