she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
