We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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