I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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