That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
