I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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