I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
