our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
