Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
