three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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