I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
